I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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