Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize