He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
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It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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