I think i peed on brittanys purse
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize