We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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