The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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