I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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