the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize