If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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