the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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