Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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