P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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