he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize