There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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