Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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