That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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