Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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