apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize