There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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