Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
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I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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