She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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