he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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