I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize