But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The best revenge is premature balding
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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