i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
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everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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