yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
no, he came in my armpit
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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