hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
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In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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