he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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