I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize