and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
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