Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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