my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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