i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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