Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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