dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize