they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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