tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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