Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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