All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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