just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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