Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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