You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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