The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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