i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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