um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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