i barfeds in our rink
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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