My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize