but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize