Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize