I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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